Thumbs Up or a Foot Down?
Your co-worker has just received notice that she has been promoted to a new position. You smile in her face and tell her “congratulations, you deserve it”. But, the true feelings come out as soon as she turns and walk away. Your thoughts are, “how did she get the promotion?”, “she thinks she is all that”, or even say, “I hope she falls on her face”.
Why do some put their foot down on the next person when they are trying to progress in life? Will jealousy allow you to move to the next level in your life? As black women we need to give a hand up, be happy for the next as they begin their journey in life. Once you are happy for the next person, then you will see progress in your own life.
Change: Have we really grown?
The world is full of many shades of color. All are beautiful to the eyesight. However, to some black and white seen together in a relationship is still frowned upon. Even in this day, when a white lady is seen with a black man or vise versa, we tend to say things in our mind or even out loud. Why should it bother you to see an individual with whom they have chosen to be with. As a society, who are we to frown upon an individuals choice of companionship?
Some black people say, because blacks were owned by white people that we have lost focus. Because of that, black men and women are engaging in relationships with the very people who inslaved our ancestors. Some say we have gotten too comfortable, ignoring the history. Are we ignoring the history or acknowledging the history and seeking a change?
There is a lot of hurt held within some people due to the slavery of our ancestors. But we have to make the first steps to make a change. Just like an open wound on the knee. It will not heal until a scab forms on it and falls off. Once the scab is gone it is healed. However, there is a scar left behind to remind you of the hurt you endured. But it is still healed. Then it is at that point that you can begin to walk better. But, if you continue to pick the scab off everytime it forms over the wound, then it will never have a chance to heal. It just might become infected and have the potential of you losing a part of you. We have to allow healing, which will promote growth, which then allow that scar to get smaller everytime you seek change.
A Hidden Prejudice Among Black Women: Skintone
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Do you think that tone of your skin defines how you are treated by other black women?
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If so, why is this a problem in the african american community?
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What can be done to change this prejudice?
My comment:
I do believe that skin tone does play a part in how you are treated by other black women. I will share this experience with you:
I was at my local Walmart. I was standing in line to check out. The cashier was a dark skinned lady and the customer in front of me was a dark skinned lady aswell. The cashier spoke to the lady and asked if she found everything ok. They continued to talk, laugh and smile at one another. During their conversing, the cashier glanced back at me, and gave me a dry look. I was not graced with a smile as I had given her nor like the smile she was giving the lady before me. As the lady paid for her items and grabbed her bag, the cashier smiled at her one last time and said to her ” have a great evening”. As, I approached the cashier, she began to scan my items; she didn’t smile at me nor did she ask if I found everything okay. I then smiled at her and said “hello, how are you?”. Did I get a warm hello or a smile? No, I did not. What I got was lady scanning my items, never looking up and with a frown on her face.
Many times before, I had experienced this. I began to survey who were displaying this type of behavior towards me. Sadly to say, it was always from a darker skinned lady. So, I have always wondered if this was a problem for all women. Not just for the lighter skintone women, but for the darker skinned women aswell.
Now, this has posed questions number two and three above. Share your opinion, experiences and most of all how do we as women change this hidden prejudice.
