Webster defines “mother” as a female parent, a woman of authority; specifically, the superior of a religious community of women. Parent is defined as one that begets or brings forth off-springs; a person who bring up and cares for another.
These definitions suggest in summary that a female whom brings forth life to and cares for another person. Therefore, a mother does not necessarily have to give birth to a child to be a “mother”.
A mother gives so much of herself that she tends to lose herself in doing so. She wears so many hats and at any given time she may have on more than one. No matter which one she has on she looks well wearing it.
She is a career woman; for she goes out and obtains a job to be able to take care of her family financially. A caregiver; she is always there to wipe the tears away and kiss that bump or bruise. A cook; she ensures that you are fed daily with food to strengthen your body. A taxicab driver; for she makes sure you get to and from school and for every activity you are in.
She is a cheerleader; always there cheering you on, whether it is at your basketball game or running for class president. She is a true friend; for she is always there for you through the thick and the thin. She is a teacher; for she has taught you how to tie your shoes to helping you with your homework.
She is a protector; always having your best interest at heart. She is a guidance counsel; she ensures daily that you are still on the right path, by talking with you through your problems. She is a motivator; she gives you that boost when you want to give up. She is a prayer warrior; she is always on her knees praying for you.
I am sure there are many other hats that a “mother” wears that were not mentioned. However, there is one that will out shine all others and that is her “crown” and the words “well done my good and faithful servant” will accompany it when given.
Man created a day to honor mothers once every year. But with so many hats a mother wears, everyday should be “Mother’s Day”…..so, “Happy everyDAY” to all the ladies who are wearing their hats! May God Bless you all! Much Love!
Sheldon was the man that every woman dreamed of having in their life. He was tall, handsome, skin was like a smooth babies butt, free of any rashes or scars. Sheldon, was an intelligent man, a man of substance and was a go getter. He was an entrepreneur, a Consultant for small corporations. Sheldon was smart, he was a graduate of Harvard. One thing he was not was a playa.
He was in love with Amber, his long time lover for almost nine years. Amber was the woman that wanted everything and then some. She was a professional woman, wrapped up all in self until she wanted or needed something from others.
Amber was not the one you could find in any Ebony magazine, let’s just say she was not the finest or even the prettiest thing in the room. She had her outward flaws for sure. She was sweet and kind, and oh so fake when she had alternative motives…..getting what she want when she needed it. I think she can be defined as a user. But, Sheldon loved him some Amber almost more than he loved himself. It was always, Amber this, Amber that, my baby, my love, my Queen.
Sheldon had been working so hard at his business, bringing in the money with his high profile clients. He was making things happen. Amber was right there beside him, well only when she needed support and money from him. Sheldon loved Amber with all his heart, mind, soul, and body. Whatever, Amber wanted, which was mainly the money, Amber knew how to get it.
Sheldon reared by a single mother, was taught since a young boy to love and treat a woman as the queen she is and a woman is to treat her man as the king he is. To love unconditionally no matter what, that was a promise he gave to Amber. He was always supporting Amber in all her dreams, from being a hair stylist to a fashion designer. But never got the support he needed.
Sheldon had this big client that he needed to obtain in order to make the biggest financial move of his career. Not only that, Amber could have all the Coach and Gucci purses, gold, diamonds and that new fully loaded BMW she wanted…..like nothing was wrong with the one she had. But, The Jones’ is who she had to impress and keep up with. I told you, her outward appearance was flawed, but she draped it with highend material things.
Sheldon, needed Amber to go make a deposit to his business account. He was busy making the final arrangements to sweep this new client of their feet with his amazing portfolio of why he would be the best candidate for them. While Amber was at the bank making the deposit, curiosity was taking over her. She asked the teller if she could have a print out of all the deposits within the last six months. The teller, knew Amber was Sheldon’s girl, and not by her better judgment or policy and procedures, she provided her with the print out. Amber, knew how to lay on the charm to get what she wanted. Amber’s eyes grew with amazement to see that the printout only had two deposits for $500. What the hell?
Amber stewing with anger, could not wait to get home to throw this up in Sheldon’s face. Amber was thinking out loud. “how in the hell is he gonna be able to take care of me, damn I have to have that new BMW.” “this punk ass nigga, don’t have no money”….”this motha fucka has been lying to me”.
Sheldon, had finished his portfolio and was now moving on to his project that he had been keeping a secret from Amber. Amber’s surprise, romantic weekend trip to Colorado Springs. He had made reservations at this resort and had the For Lover’s Only suite booked. The room had been decorated with roses, candles and a hint of jasmine would be the fragrance for the night and Kem would be the choice of sounds.
Sheldon, knew he had found the one, the lady he wanted to marry. The mother of his children, his soul mate. So he think, remember, he loves this woman, looks past all her outward flaws and her sometimes multi personalities.
Sheldon pulled out a little black box, a box that held the symbol of his love for Amber; a 3.5 carat Princess cut diamond with Pave side accents. The ring Amber always wanted. Sheldon had finally made the last $500 payment on the ring a week ago. He was ready to make this woman officially his Queen. Sheldon had had the eye candy on his arm, the 5’7 supermodels and high profile women, but now he finally was getting the love he so desired and came to love unconditionally in Amber. He looked passed her bad skin, knocked knees, and a shameful shape straight to her heart. A heart he thought he knew.
Amber pulls up in front of Sheldon’s 3000 sq. feet condo, steam coming out of her ears, the ugliest frown on her face. Damn, she almost forgot to put the car in park. She runs through the garage and up the stairs pass their bedroom, towards the study, where she knew he would be finishing his portfolio.
“Where is your punk ass? Sheldon, get your monkey as out here” Sheldon peaks his head out of the bedroom door. “Baby, what is it? Is something wrong?” Amber stomps off toward him, “what is wrong is your monkey punk ass, you are nothing but a lying nigga”. “Whoa what the hell are you talking about, what is the meaning of all this?” Sheldon says as he tries to move her finger out of his face. “ I saw the deposits of the account for your business, your ass don’t have any damn money, that is the meaning of all this” as she pushes his forehead.
Sheldon was also reared, not to hit a woman no matter what. He walked passed her into the kitchen, stood by the bar and said. “My love what are you talking about?” By that time, Amber had gone the opposite direction and was in the bedroom. She had pulled out her Coach luggage and was throwing her clothes, shoes and anything else she could get in there, which Sheldon had bought.
Sheldon walks into the room, “Amber what are you doing?” “I am leaving your lying punk ass!!!!”. “You don’t have any money, you just lie all the damn time, and how the hell is you gonna take care of me?” Sheldon grabs her, by the waist, “baby come here, you know I love you with all my heart”….”That’s the thing I don’t love your ass, you were always wrapped up in me, I never, I mean never loved you the way you loved me” Amber screamed in his face, damn near spitting on him in the process.
Sheldon tried for at least 30 more minutes to talk to her. To no avail she would not listen. Amber continued to pack all the material things that Sheldon had bought her. This could not be happening, could he be losing the woman he loved and adored so much? Was his plan of proposing to her tonight going down the drain?
Amber wouldn’t listen anymore, she had packed as much as she could and headed for her BMW, I mean the BMW that Sheldon had bought for her. Sheldon, walked behind her trying his best to make her stop and did not want to reveal his plans. Amber through her bags in the trunk and looked up at Sheldon, to give him the last heart wrenching blow. “By the way, this baby I am carrying is not yours, you broke motha fucka!”
Sheldon’s heart just fell to the floor along with his knees and the 3.5 carat engagement ring. Amber looked with amazement, “what is that?” Sheldon looked up with painful eyes and said, “I loved you beyond your flaws, I have had the best looking women on my arm. I have supported all of your dreams, whether they were good or stupid. I loved you passed all your imperfections, I took all your harsh words, gave your ass the world, made you into my Queen. Since you want to leave, because you don’t think I have any money, go ahead with your ungrateful ass. I have given you nine years of my life, I promised you back when I was in college, I would give you the world, and I have kept my word. What have you done for me? What? Nothing but headaches and heartaches. I continued to look pass your flaws inward and outward. I gave you my unconditional love, my promise. I was about to make the ultimate promise for better or worse, to death do us part. Now, you tell me I don’t have any money, I am broke, I just spent $3000 on this damn ring you always hinted you wanted, $2500 on this expensive ass birthday getaway for you. And was about to buy you that new BMW you wanted, but didn’t need. I have always given you what you wanted and needed. But, you don’t even love me, never have, and never will!”
Sheldon get’s off the floor with a heart broken, tear filled face, opens up the garage, “Now get out of my house” Amber opens the door to the BMW, “Oh no baby, your car is over there, you came here with that raggedy ass Toyota Camry, that is what you will leave with. Oh, you can keep the clothes, since you don’t have a real career, to buy any. And the next time you want to be nosey, ask for more than six months of deposits and get the withdrawals too. And remember you will never find another intelligent man of substance that will treat you like a Queen, you will never, ever, be loved unconditionally with the promise I had given to you.”
Your co-worker has just received notice that she has been promoted to a new position. You smile in her face and tell her “congratulations, you deserve it”. But, the true feelings come out as soon as she turns and walk away. Your thoughts are, “how did she get the promotion?”, “she thinks she is all that”, or even say, “I hope she falls on her face”.
Why do some put their foot down on the next person when they are trying to progress in life? Will jealousy allow you to move to the next level in your life? As black women we need to give a hand up, be happy for the next as they begin their journey in life. Once you are happy for the next person, then you will see progress in your own life.
The world is full of many shades of color. All are beautiful to the eyesight. However, to some black and white seen together in a relationship is still frowned upon. Even in this day, when a white lady is seen with a black man or vise versa, we tend to say things in our mind or even out loud. Why should it bother you to see an individual with whom they have chosen to be with. As a society, who are we to frown upon an individuals choice of companionship?
Some black people say, because blacks were owned by white people that we have lost focus. Because of that, black men and women are engaging in relationships with the very people who inslaved our ancestors. Some say we have gotten too comfortable, ignoring the history. Are we ignoring the history or acknowledging the history and seeking a change?
There is a lot of hurt held within some people due to the slavery of our ancestors. But we have to make the first steps to make a change. Just like an open wound on the knee. It will not heal until a scab forms on it and falls off. Once the scab is gone it is healed. However, there is a scar left behind to remind you of the hurt you endured. But it is still healed. Then it is at that point that you can begin to walk better. But, if you continue to pick the scab off everytime it forms over the wound, then it will never have a chance to heal. It just might become infected and have the potential of you losing a part of you. We have to allow healing, which will promote growth, which then allow that scar to get smaller everytime you seek change.
Do you think that tone of your skin defines how you are treated by other black women?
If so, why is this a problem in the african american community?
What can be done to change this prejudice?
I do believe that skin tone does play a part in how you are treated by other black women. I will share this experience with you:
I was at my local Walmart. I was standing in line to check out. The cashier was a dark skinned lady and the customer in front of me was a dark skinned lady aswell. The cashier spoke to the lady and asked if she found everything ok. They continued to talk, laugh and smile at one another. During their conversing, the cashier glanced back at me, and gave me a dry look. I was not graced with a smile as I had given her nor like the smile she was giving the lady before me. As the lady paid for her items and grabbed her bag, the cashier smiled at her one last time and said to her ” have a great evening”. As, I approached the cashier, she began to scan my items; she didn’t smile at me nor did she ask if I found everything okay. I then smiled at her and said “hello, how are you?”. Did I get a warm hello or a smile? No, I did not. What I got was lady scanning my items, never looking up and with a frown on her face.
Many times before, I had experienced this. I began to survey who were displaying this type of behavior towards me. Sadly to say, it was always from a darker skinned lady. So, I have always wondered if this was a problem for all women. Not just for the lighter skintone women, but for the darker skinned women aswell.
Now, this has posed questions number two and three above. Share your opinion, experiences and most of all how do we as women change this hidden prejudice.