A Hidden Prejudice Among Black Women: Skintone
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Do you think that tone of your skin defines how you are treated by other black women?
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If so, why is this a problem in the african american community?
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What can be done to change this prejudice?
My comment:
I do believe that skin tone does play a part in how you are treated by other black women. I will share this experience with you:
I was at my local Walmart. I was standing in line to check out. The cashier was a dark skinned lady and the customer in front of me was a dark skinned lady aswell. The cashier spoke to the lady and asked if she found everything ok. They continued to talk, laugh and smile at one another. During their conversing, the cashier glanced back at me, and gave me a dry look. I was not graced with a smile as I had given her nor like the smile she was giving the lady before me. As the lady paid for her items and grabbed her bag, the cashier smiled at her one last time and said to her ” have a great evening”. As, I approached the cashier, she began to scan my items; she didn’t smile at me nor did she ask if I found everything okay. I then smiled at her and said “hello, how are you?”. Did I get a warm hello or a smile? No, I did not. What I got was lady scanning my items, never looking up and with a frown on her face.
Many times before, I had experienced this. I began to survey who were displaying this type of behavior towards me. Sadly to say, it was always from a darker skinned lady. So, I have always wondered if this was a problem for all women. Not just for the lighter skintone women, but for the darker skinned women aswell.
Now, this has posed questions number two and three above. Share your opinion, experiences and most of all how do we as women change this hidden prejudice.
My first experience began when I was in college. I live in the south and the racial tension between black women is evident. I am what society calls; Redbone and I don’t mind the label but it seem to affect which sorority you can be a member of.
Where I attend college most Deltas are like me Redbone. Zetas are Dark-skinned and Kappa’s are Light to Brown skinned. I wanted to join Zetas because I thought they were the coolest soroity on campus. They had one problem, my skin was too light. This is not only a problem with me, but with most of the women who try to join a sorority that skin color is not the same.
I didn’t join any sorority after that. Maybe it’s different and other universities, I hope so.
I wonder if this is society’s way of keeping us divided. It is sort of ingrained in us to think that lighter is better, so maybe darker women feel like they need to protect themselves. Just a thought.
First off ladies, thanks for sharing your thoughts. I wanted to take the time and interact with you, respond to your thoughts.
Monica, I have seen that in sororities. It is really sad that color is the factor whether you are good enough to become a Zeta, Delta or AKA.
Louisa, I think you have hit the nail on the head with that comment. I do believe it goes back to what we teach or daughters,neices and other female family members. We as ladies, have to find ways to change this hidden prejudice among our community. If we don’t the cycle will continue.
I look forward to reading more comments. Ladies this is the beginning of a professional and intelligient change. We are vessels of knowledge so let that knowledge fuel the future.
Skintone…definitely an interesting topic for women of color.
Before making my comments on this topic, I would like to first state that it is a great thing of beauty that we have such a diversity of color among Black Americans — especially our women of color.
At times, yes, I do believe that my skintone does define how I’m treated by other black women. It is sad. Among black women I would be considered “yellow-bone”. I have experienced others turning their noses up at me or making snobby remarks such as I think I’m better than they are. Nothing could be further from the truth. Who of us picked our ethnicity and skintone prior to or at birth?
It is a problem in the African American community because for so many years, we as a people, have been oppressed and thought so little because of the darker pigmentation of our skin. It had been observed that the lighter, fairer, or even white skintoned received better treatment. For example, it is known that those who were slaves, and were of a lighter complexion, worked in the house; whereas, those who were of the darker tone, worked in the fields. Thus, being “better” became associated with the lighter or fairer skintone because they weren’t out working in the hot sun. So can you imagine how resentment developed so easily among us for our different skintone?
What can be done to change this prejudice? It starts with each of us individually. We need to ensure that we are not secretly carrying a torch of pride for being a lighter skintone or carrying a torch of shame for being of a darker skintone. We must see each other as intelligent human beings — each other as beautiful women. Among what other race of people can you find such a rainbow of colors under ONE ethnicity?
I have not experienced it one way or the other except for the fact that I have found that African-American women are EXTREMELY distrustful of each other. I believe that we are too jealous and judgemental of each other. I am dark-skinned, and my daughter is light-skinned and I teach her that ALL of us are beautiful as my mother always taught me. I let her know that there is no such thing as “good-hair” (it’s all just hair), or “pretty eyes” (you’re just blessed with what God gave you). I believe that as the other blogger stated, if we teach our daughters, they will teach theirs and so on. We have enough on our shoulders with the lack of a male presence in our families, and just trying to make it in this world to let this divide us. And, I would just like to state to the sister who was at Walmart, maybe you tried being friendly with words, but were you friendly with your facial expression and demenor? By that I mean did you speak to the sister because you were really interested in her, or were you testing to see if any of your past experiences were going to be confirmed? Just a thought.
To answer the question of Telfia. Even though the lady had not treated me as she had the other lady, I still approached her with a warm demeanor as I do all the time with anyone regardsless of how they have treated me.
Now, ladies I do want to say, that this blog is no way to knock one skintone or another,, we are all gorgeous no matter the shade. Thiis an avenue for women of color to share experiences and knowledge to others that may help change this or give knowledge.
Once agan, ladies thanks for your words of expressions. Everthing said here should be a learning tool for us all.
Great blog!
I am light brown (redbone)
My father is really dark skinned, and my mom is really light (high yellow) skin tone…
Well having a dad and mom who are both black people with different hues, I grew up feeling that black is black and never thought people in our community thought any different. Its sad but some people really do have a problem with it. Ive experienced both sides of the spectrum.
I went to Meijers across the rivers to buy a bath tub mat. The women who the cashier directed to help me find them, were four very dark skinned women. I stood there for a long time while they talked under their breaths about how they didn’t want to help me. At first I thought maybe they were just having a bad day and didn’t like working there. I realized it wasn’t the case when one of the women laughed and said to the other one “I can’t stand light skinned *B##ches*! I’m not helping her” So the one that actually said that ended up having to help me, and she just kept on rolling her eyes at me etc…
She helped me find what I was looking for and I said “Thankyou” and she just rolled her eyes at me and walked off said under her breath “WHATEVER”
And on the other hand, I have some friends and acquaintances who are very light skinned, some of them are biracials and some are just super light toned…
One of them is a hairdresser. She used to do my hair alot and always talked about how she loved my long hair etc…that it was soft and easy for her to manage.
I liked going to her so much I reccommended my sister and my sister is a bit darker toned that me and her hair texture is like my fathers…a bit more coarse and really thick. When my sister went to her, she complained about how it was so hard to detangle it etc…Then when my sister left she made some statement about how she would rather not have black clientele, because the head on their heads are like sponges…
I stopped going to her and cut off the friendship because I was hurt by how she treated my sister.
I’m not good at speaking my mind, I should have told her off…and I should have maybe told off the Walmart lady…
but I hate confrontations. I usually speak my mind if I have to but only if backed into a corner I guess.
J, thanks for sharing your experience.
Lately I have been seeing a lot of comments about the issues between light-skinned and dark-skinned black women. I myself have never incountered this problem with women only men.
Our men have some how become fasinated with having a light colored gal and I think that is the big problem between us women. We have started to resent eachother now that lighter is supose to be better. Dark women are saying that the light women think they are all that because they are now the flavor of the month. Even though that is not always the case there is a lot of jealously among each group and now we are at war with eachother
I say do not worry about this trend. It will pass. If Black men are not interested in dark women then move on to whoever is. There Loss!!!